"Jordan (7) is a very joyful, clever, and creative child. He's our 'little entertainer,' always keeping us entertained with his artistic shows that he creates himself, from dance routines to impersonating artists or showcasing his football skills, especially when he is sharing time with family and friends." In this way, Yahira Santoni describes her son, with whom she shares a very special relationship. As a mother, she shares the introduction of her son to social media, everything she has learned from this experience. She discusses the good and the bad that can exist on these platforms and how parents can navigate and yet create and educate their children in this digital era.
At 4 years old, Jordan began his adventure in social media. Initially, the idea was to share his growth and special moments with family and friends through a private Instagram account. Soon after, Jordan's presence expanded to TikTok, a more trendy and fun medium for creating interactive and entertaining content. “Truth is, we forgot to switch it to a private account and started receiving a lot of positive comments, among others about Jordan's amusing personality and his 'hidden talent' for learning dance choreography, which was outstanding. This recognition started on the streets when people would say 'You are the little guy from TikTok'. It became even more notable when he won a challenge that Jeon had set to his song 'Lage Bai' during the pandemic. All of this under our supervision and if Jordan wanted to record, he would, which he always enjoys,” Yahira emphasizes that the decision she and her partner made to let Jordan use social media was a conscious and controlled decision. "Although most of the videos are made with me, social media is something he experiences together with his parents and not just on his own."
Yahira’s approach to social media is simple but effective. She focuses on creating organic content that shows how they, as parents, enjoy it together with Jordan. “Good lighting (like good natural light or a ring light), and a good camera or phone camera are important. We like to see which outfits and which backgrounds to use, but most of the videos we make are spontaneous during our time together. It can take several tries to get the best shot. In Jordan's case, not every time he presents his best self when he's using a screen, in such cases I film him without him seeing himself on the screen and he concentrates better. Jordan is not shy in front of the camera, which makes it easier.”
Yahira considers that social media can provide a platform for creativity and expression on one hand, while on the other, it requires constant vigilance and careful balancing. Here is where the active participation of parents is essential to effectively navigate the influence of social media, she adds. "Parents must indeed take time to control the account and feed with the social media 'Parental Control' options. Screen time is also extremely important to manage, and there are discussions with the child about social media and the good and bad influences it can have.”
What happened with tiktok page and what impact did this have on jordan?
Even though we had a TikTok account that was family-friendly and managed by his mom, and even though I appeared in several videos with Jordan, TikTok closed the account when they changed the age restrictions, and we didn't reopen it to post videos. We still use the platform to stay connected with family and other kids from the beginning. It's something we watch together so we know what Jordan is experiencing. Jordan can tell me if he wants us to start using it again to post videos; this is a project we want to start anew, and now I'm evaluating which social media platform to use and what content we'll create considering he's older now."
"The use of social media comes after Jordan completes his routine activities, and the time he dedicates to it remains controlled. If you ask him what he prefers more, watching videos on social media or making them, his answer is making videos. Something that both his dad and I always tell Jordan is that many kids enjoy watching other kids play, act, and express their creativity on social media. We want and encourage Jordan that instead of just watching other kids do this and using his time for that, he should enjoy his own experiences, embrace learning, play, entertain, or dance, and thus enjoy his childhood and every stage. He likes watching his videos from some time ago; they're like a memory for him. Jordan himself tells us this.
“I talk a lot with Jordan and explain in a way that he can understand. For example, I ask what have you learned from what you saw? Or tell Jordan not to watch that content because it doesn't have a positive/beautiful message and why. I also discuss with him the importance of not spending too much time on social media, and now he himself brings this up. This has made Jordan very willing to talk to me and his dad about different topics. I find good videos on social media that explain and visualize certain important topics for children, this is an example of the positive aspect of social media. I remember the first time I explained to Jordan about 'anti-bullying', it was with suitable videos that I found on social media and even included a song from children that stood out on Britain’s Got Talent on this topic.”
"Social media platforms can take up a lot of a person's time. I believe that just as content creators on social media enjoy doing something they like or want others to know or see them doing, you cannot dedicate too much time to social media and miss living your own experiences. Jordan practices sports four times a week. And when he is at home, I encourage and accompany him to play or run outside. Football is Jordan’s favorite pastime. He practices it regularly and it is part of his lifestyle. As a child who is the #1 fan of his parents, Jordan does not miss any of his dad’s football games. He loves meeting his friends on the field. At home, he practices football continuously, takes a break to dance to a song, and continues playing football.”
"Managing online critics can be a challenge; in our case, we mostly received positive messages, only if the content was about football did we obviously experience criticism. I respect other people's opinions and I know that many parents prefer their children not to use social media, but likewise, some just hand the phone to their child to entertain themselves for a while with social media platforms like YouTube, without control. My advice to other parents dealing with critics is to take a respectful angle, or take a pause before reacting, evaluate the situation without involving emotions, and decide whether it is worth responding or not.”
#1 communicate with the child the positive and negative aspects that come with social media.
If you consider introducing this, it is part of the process together with the child, control and supervise how your child experiences social media and research how to adjust the account, as there are various options on how to manage it. If it is for the child to create content, let them use their creativity and be authentic, help in the process so that they feel good about the content they bring to social media.
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