For Natusha Croes, becoming a mother in 2024 was not in her initial plans. After returning to Aruba in 2020 and creating a solid network around art, she was busy with new projects related to the art and history of Aruba. These were quite central and primary projects, but as she says, blessings always come unexpectedly.
The news of her pregnancy was a beautiful surprise that was received with open arms. But while her pregnancy was unexpected, Natusha was sure from day one that the birth and arrival of her child would take place in one way: at home. At least, that was her great desire. "Of course, I was open to any event that might require hospital assistance, but I was confident that this would not become my reality."
The first step to fulfill the desire to give birth at home, as our ancestors always did, was to seek all the information to prepare for this great event. "I attended various prenatal courses, including those led by Shanti, as well as Mama in Bloom by Mama of Light Aruba, Roxanne, and also listened to many podcasts, especially from the Freebirth Society."
On the other hand, she, as the human being with the miracle of creation taking place within her body, made sure to enjoy and have a very calm pregnancy. "I had a lot of support from my partner Jake, who made the process possible. He was there like a pillar, trusting in my capacity and constantly empowering me. I continued normal exercise, took rest when I felt it necessary, meditated, ate healthily, and used my body practice in the environment to regulate my nervous system. This way I always stayed in the present, noting how often our minds take us to the sadness of the past or the anxiety of the future which does not serve our spiritual evolution."
While the decision to have a home birth varies from person to person, for Natusha, it was about having more control during this special moment. "I wanted my sovereignty, and less intervention in the birthing process. For me, this is a deeply spiritual process that takes you inside, confronts you with yourself. It's a connection with your body and the development of self-love and security in yourself. This really needs to be your anchor. I wanted to be guided by the sensations of my body and not doubt, which ancestrally, was always a natural process. I placed all my trust in the bodily connection that I had developed through my artistic and spiritual practice. And that kept my mind clear, with continuous clarity that my vision would become reality."
The words "birth" and "home" put together can cause even the calmest person to create a sharp opinion or doubt, whether in favor or against, often based on myths, fear, or lack of information. Natusha also experienced these doubts from people around her and chose to create a capsule to not let these doubts dominate her. For her, it was a process of continuous protection and transformation. "I encountered several people with the tendency to view a pregnant person as a refuge to divulge less pleasant stories connected to childbirth, which inculcate and create fear. I was constantly, repeatedly, in my mind and heart, when I was listening to what others had to say; 'I am going to be the change that the world longs for. I let go of all projections that do not serve or add to my spiritual growth. God's light will always illuminate the path of truth. Love is the compass.' And that kept me firm and centered," says Natusha.
On the first of December around midnight, the first contractions began to dominate Natusha. She had everything prepared, and her partner Jake was with her throughout the entire process. Two hours before the actual birth took place, Roxanne, the Doula, arrived at Natusha's home to assist. The total process from the first contractions to the birth of Jacob Rudolf Arends, 'Mi Coco,' took 14 hours. It was a very special experience, Natusha describes. "I believe the moment of giving birth is intense, strong, and unforgettable. The sweetest was the family atmosphere, cozy, with the whole family there to support us and our newborn baby. If she would do the same with a second pregnancy, her answer is a solid YES." The creative being, creative expression is the reflection of the creator living within us. For me, creativity is the bridge that lets us express all the emotions that may not have been processed and are stagnating our body, soul, and mind. It is my opinion that by singing, dancing, painting, we channel this and create the opportunity to continue growing spiritually.
This is my profession and my belief. So my relationship with creativity has empowered a deeper relationship with myself, which makes me feel capable and generates confidence. This process also naturally led me to bring my child into the reality I inhabit."
"Family and a sense of community have become very important to me. I am interested in creating more spaces where different generations can come together, share, and empower each other. Spaces that feel safe to fully express ourselves, seeing vulnerability as the bridge that reveals our authenticity. Embodied creative awareness is what I hope to inspire through my artistic practice, I wish to motivate more people to enter into a firm communion with their corporeality, express themselves creatively, to cultivate a better understanding of who they are.
"Your body is the temple, where a relationship with the Divine Being is located, self-love, self-care, self-exploration. Learn to know yourself, reflect, ask, and develop a habit of meditating, contemplating, sitting in silence. We live in a world that is constantly in motion. It is important to sit, breathe, recalibrate your nervous system and thus feel empowered."
Since 2020 Natusha Croes has returned to Aruba and is actively practicing her career as an artist and educator. From 2024 she has started working with the House of Culture on a theatrical work that will be presented at different schools in Aruba at the end of June on the theme of slavery. Weaving the silenced stories of Aruba's history, creating a group of professionals in the fields of stage, fashion, and dance. Natusha is also working on a creative 'after school project' at Filomena College together with the students themselves called Dance Your History. "I am a mother who is creating at the same time with much love and affection on my island where there is much more development to be done in the field of art."
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