Beauty, a word many define and associate with a perfect face or a slim body. But for Ivana J. Werleman (37), former Miss Aruba International, mother of one son, and Front Desk Manager, it carries a story whose meanings have evolved through her life. Behind her constant smile lies the journey of a former queen who battled weight, self esteem, and the pressure to live up to a standard that was never truly her own. Today, after years of diets, Ozempic, and CrossFit, Ivana speaks openly about real strength, the kind that is born when you break, fall, rise again, learn, and reinvent yourself. Her goal in sharing her story is simple: to inspire others to rediscover the real definition of beauty.

“I entered the world of pageants at 17, when I competed in Miss Teen Aruba 2005. From that moment, people in the industry kept telling me, ‘You need to lose a little more weight.’ I trained hard, gave everything I had, and still, I only managed to make the Top 5. Four years later, I was invited to compete for Miss Universe Aruba. That time, I was heavier, and again I kept trying to lose more. I won the title of Miss Aruba International 2009/2010 and placed among the Top 3 finalists, yet people still focused on my body. They would say, ‘La gorda quedó’ (the chubby one stayed). “There are moments when people say: ‘Very good, Ivana, you’ve managed to maintain your body, but you still have a long way to go to lose weight,’ and that hit hard.”

During that period, Ivana worked with a personal trainer, followed healthy meal plans, and tried to stay balanced. But the hardest part wasn’t physical, it was mental. “I was constantly fighting with my self esteem; I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. In my mind, I would always be ‘the fat one.”

Ivana doesn’t shy away from the emotional weight that comes with the word weight itself. “My weight has always affected my mental health,” she admits. “I realized I had to learn to love myself as I am, and believe it or not, that’s something I’m still learning every day.” She remembers a comment that broke her completely. “At my heaviest, 96 kilos, someone hugged me and said, ‘Wow, every time I hug you, my arms have to open wider.’ That comment shattered me, because it wasn’t a joke, it was a reminder of how unhappy I was with myself.”

“The beauty-pageant world of 2009 is nothing like today. Back then, you basically had to look like a skinny model. I used to stare at myself in the mirror and think, Wow, I’m not skinny.

If you could change the beauty industry?, I’d focus on originality, self esteem, and real diversity. I want women to love themselves as they are, without the pressure to meet a made up standard. Beauty should inspire leadership, not measurement.” Even after the pageant, the pressure to “stay beautiful” didn’t stop. “It’s a constant battle. “It’s a constant struggle. But with time, I’ve learned that it’s not about pleasing others, it’s about myself. My goal now is to feel happy, confident, and authentic.”

In November 2020, when the scale read 96 kg, Ivana made a decision. “My self esteem was at its lowest. My best friend, Jeanelly ‘Bebecita’, kept pushing me. One day, neither of us felt like training, and she said, ‘Bebecita, let’s just try CrossFit, no?’ Ivana took on the challenge, even with doubt. "I said okay, but it had to be light, because I never thought CrossFit was for me. I believed it was only for strong people, not for someone like me. But that day, she experienced a change in her life. Since that moment… I haven’t stopped.”

“It’s for everyone, no matter your weight or age. I discovered that I’m capable of much more than I thought. It’s the mind that breaks first, not the body.” Now, after returning in February 2025, she feels a real change. “I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m determined. My self esteem has grown. I feel more confident, not just because of my figure, but because of the strength I’ve built.”

The mind is what limits you, once you break that barrier, the body follows. For Ivana, CrossFit is more than a sport, it’s a confrontation with herself. “It’s you versus you. Some workouts drain you completely, but when you finish, you realize: I did it. That’s the sweetest feeling, exhausted but satisfied.”

“Yes, I used Ozempic. It helped me in the beginning, to control my appetite and regain focus. But Ozempic isn’t a miracle, and it’s not something to rely on forever. You have to change your lifestyle too. For me, it was just a jump start, a small push that helped me believe in myself again. But the rest comes from discipline, nutrition, and movement.” To those who criticize its use, she says: “It’s not a shortcut if you’re doing the work. It’s a tool, not an escape.

“Give yourself permission to be human. The process of feeling better physically and emotionally isn’t linear. Some days are easy, some are hard, but every small step counts. Treat your body with respect. Don’t let others define your worth. Surround yourself with people who push you to grow. Patience and discipline, that’s the secret. A healthy life isn’t a punishment; it’s a gift to yourself.”